夏休みドラマ発動！

It's not really drama though. It's just...stuff that accumulates through the summer. No biggie, right? It's not like tear-jerking korean soap operas or cheesy tagalog teleseryes where the plots twist and winds to the point of incomprehension with it culminating into an insipid cesspool of incestuous relations. That'd be a really messed up life to live through; a complete FML moment, well not *JUST* a moment, but more like a lifetime.

Sidetrack: I did watch one J-Drama this summer. It's called Love Shuffle. 10 episodes. I was thoroughly entertained. It wasn't like a conventional drama though, just exactly the type I liked: Romance-Comedy. Pretty good I might say, and not one of your run-of-the-mill kinds where it's a tragic drama and someone dies from an incurable disease or some other.

Anywho, back on track.

I feel I shouldn't really have a "squee" moment...or "squee" to anyone at all since I get uncomfortable and stuff. I'm not used to it I guess, and it's like one of those recent developments where you're still trying to fit into the skin of; like a recently developed emotion I guess where it's like "Oh damn, turns out my heart isn't that numb after all. hah". Still in the awkwardness phase, but you'll outgrow it--kind of thing. "squee"-ing to someone also makes me feel guilty somewhat. It's somewhat akin to saying that "oh this person's awesome" all the while the listener gets the inflection that goes "And what am I, a watermelon?" It's that bad feeling I get where it's like I'm adding insult to injury; pouring salt on wounds; saying "you're ugly and I'm drunk, but in the morning I'll be sober and yet you shall remain ugly" anectdote

Anyway, "squee" from a personal point of view, coming from someone who's been a wallflower for the most of high school...or more like "person who tends to stay away from the action" or "prefers to not be in the spotlight" kind of guy. Not entirely the "anti-social" kind either...just laid back, sailing through high-school, trying to stay drama free and all. it's kinda weird after high school where there is no spotlight and people disperse...then you start to find out people did have a crush on you or they still have a crush or some other on you.

It's hard to believe, especially from someone who's inherently humble (stating this proves otherwise, but bear with me. no time for cyclical talk.) and not to mention painstakingly and extraordinarily...ordinary. It's a moment where one goes "say it again for me please, I just day-dreamed." It's very surreal; to think that someone who looks like THAT, the epitome of attractiveness, one of the coveted divinity, one you would consider at the zenith of popularity in high-school standards, says "you're the type of person I like" or "you get my mojo going. vavavavoom."

I mean, hot damn, someone slap me, I MUST be day-dreaming.

It invokes a sort of je ne sais qouis...a sort of "what's a deity like you want to have ANYTHING to do with someone that looks like...me?" (What's a chick like you doing in a bar like this? lawl.) It's an inexplicable feeling; one that I can associate with a song: I Got You by Chris Cayzer. I've never done anything special or extraordinary or had anything like that happen to me. "I never had the girls look twice my way/ and when they noticed I never knew what to say." I guess that best suits it.

it's weird and unexpected. I shouldn't let it get to my head though. I will not let it get to my head.

Oh boy, I'm in for a world of hurt.

I think that concludes today's random blog at 2 AM. Bwahah.