I hate it how your mood changes depending on whether you're in a relationship or not. Not the emotion you employ when you're treated positively or negatively by your significant other...I'm talking about how you treat other people; e.g. your friends, family changes depending on whether you're in a relationship or not.
I hate how your moral compass basically goes south-side once you go through this eventful thing. As I've noticed, someone who once had your back now goes against you. It's an odd feeling. Normally you'd be scintillated to go visit another mutual friend of yours too. for example, A, B and C; A is B's brother. B got a girlfriend. A and B are both friends with C and the other way around. However, A wants to go to C's house. The usual occurance, before B got un-single-fied, B would have willingly gone. But when B got un-single, A asked B to come with to C's house, but B would rather stay home and lounge around....And that's without considering other factors.
Perhaps it's a form of jealousy. Despite this, it is, regardless, irksome. Or maybe it's just me, who dislikes change for the decline. I dunno.
Lately I've also been unable to talk as well, nor project my voice as loud as I would normally could. Regardless of which, no one seems to listen to me anyway, loud or otherwise. Maybe this enigmatic anger-angst-rage-filled mood I'm feeling is amplified by the painkillers I'm taking? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it's just weather related again. I dunno.
Today, I'm unsure whether it was just that people were more annoying than usual or it was just me being irritable. A lot of things aren't working well for me lately. Been under a lot of duress. normally things I would just shrug off, such as a small opposition or a snide comment, perhaps even sometimes crack back at them. But no, lately, everything seems to be infuriating; I can't break out a comeback. Also another attribute to which might be the aftermath of my surgery; being orally handicapped.
Nevertheless, I'm going back to class tomorrow, for the first time of the week. I skipped monday and tuesday(which is today) because of the swelling and the numbness. The swelling has gone down, though I still look like I was beaten up by someone. And as for the numbness, well, it still persists, annoyingly. I still can't shut my jaw, leaving me unable to chew at all.
Blargh, I hope I get well soon...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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